Long distance relationships freaking suck.
If you know me personally or have been following my blog, you know I have a wonderful boyfriend named Lucas Miles. We love each other more than deep-fried Oreos, but even the strongest fall down sometimes. Which I’m very thankful for.
My last blogpost, “Count Your Blessings,” truly described my feelings on life. While my schedule is absolutely crazy and I’m pretty sure I should change my profile picture to a headless chicken, life really could not be better. I have a family that loves me, friends that support me and a boyfriend who gets a clause all to himself.
I’m writing today from a thought I had while perusing Instagram. When Lucas visited me in Disney, we had tons of experiences and adventures (go check out #adventuresoflatti!), and a lot of our friends and family would post comments saying “I love you guys,” or “You guys are perfect.” I totally believed we were perfect, but for the first time in forever, I’m figuring out that’s not true.
And that is a-okay.
Loving in a long-term, long-distance relationship is one of the most challenging and most rewarding things I’ve ever done. You push yourself and your partner in so many ways and learn so many things about each other. Every little thing is important; for example, I always start off our phone conversations with “How was your day?” While many others couples might do that, the connotation attached to ours is probably different. After not talking all day, and not seeing each other in days, weeks or months, I want to know every detail, from the sandwich he ate at lunch to the stupid idiot that he’s driving behind on the way to work. I’ve never been so frustrated, independent and vulnerable at the same time.
Couples on campus probably think I’m a cat lady because I look at their happy canoodling with such disdain, but it’s really just me being envious that they have the ability to hold each others’ hands. I’m lucky enough to see Lucas once a week or so, but compared to the 24/7 some of my friends get, it’s not a lot. And I shouldn’t even complain… I’m lucky Lucas is National Guard and not active duty Army. I really don’t know what I’d do if I saw him every now and then.
Long distance relationships have their pros, but a con that we’ve been dealing with lately (which is new – we’ve always fared well in the cons department) is the effect of long distance in the long term. It’s hard to have a meaningful relationship when the accumulated time you’ve spent together is a third of how long you’ve actually been dating. Between our busy schedules and own professional lives, distance easily creeps in. Fortunately, Lucas and I are very frank with each other, and when we have a problem, we fix it. We know what we have is rare and worth fighting for. We’ve discussed countless times the profound impact we’ve had on each other, and why nothing can tear us apart. From the beginning, it’s been us against the world. I just can’t wait for the day that “we” can become “one.”
Thanks for listening to my dramatic, romantic drabble. Have a magical Tuesday night.